Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Am I old enough to go to school yet?! Posted by Hello

Jed's favorite spot to read! Posted by Hello

Rocks & Stumbling Blocks

Jed and I had time to kill Sunday before church and it was an incredible 70 degrees outside, so we decided to play at the playground just outside where we have our Children's Ministry. Scattered on the 15-20 foot walkway were a handful of rocks that had been tracked out from the playground. As we were walking, I could not get Jed to follow me to the playground because he was so interested in every little rock he saw. I kept trying to tell him, "Jed, look ahead! There are all kinds of rocks up there at the playground!" I'd take one from his hand and attempt to lead him further down the sidewalk, but nope, he'd stop short of the 'rock promised land' because he'd spot another little rock that he just had to have. It must have taken us at least 15 minutes to make it those few feet...

So how often do I delay good things that God has for me because I'm grasping at every little thing that I think will make me happy? I'm stubborn and I think that I'd better reach out for and hold tight to what's right here in front of me...what I can see...what I can trust in...

I can't blame Jed for not understanding, but I'm definitely at fault for not trusting God as He is trying to lead me. As we journey on in pursuit of planting a church and all that it entails, I am so afraid to let go of the provisions God has made for us here in Arkansas. I struggle to believe that what he's leading me to is better than what I'm holding tight to. And what I'm holding tight to hasn't really even been 'much to write home about'. But it's what I can see...and what I can reach on my own.

Now I see something else though... I see the error of my ways. And, I see God trying to get me to put my trust in him, and my hand in his, as he leads me to the place he's chosen to take me. I don't expect a 'provision promised land' necessarily. I do expect provision though... I'm just learning that I can't begin to imagine what that will look like. Just like Jed couldn't picture the place that I was leading him...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Drum Roll Please...

It's a Girl!

We had our 20 week ultrasound today and have learned that baby #2 is, as my grandfather says, a 'violet without a stem'. We are very excited! And, after last time, I, of course, am a little afraid to believe this totally...but I think it will be terribly hard to be guarded.

Everyone kept asking me what I wanted - a boy or a girl - and I kept telling everyone I didn't have a preference. Well, after hearing that it was a girl, I realized that I really didn't have a preference. There was no greater elation or any hint of dissappointment in me at all. I thought that I might be fooling myself because I am one who does not like to set myself up for dissappointment, but I really was as equally excited for either possibility.

Now, the rest of my family I cannot say that about... Most of them kept it no secret that they wanted a girl!

Just to answer your questions before you ask them:
  • This time an Ultrasound Technician did the ultrasound. She does about 15 of these a day, as opposed to the Dr. who does maybe 1 a day.
  • Last time we were only 18 weeks along and this time we were 20.
  • Last time we just trusted what the Dr. told us because we didn't actually see anything that helped us decipher the gender. This time, the Ultrasound Tech asked what we thought and we were pretty sure it looked like a girl - she confirmed that we were correct.
  • We warned the UT about what had happened last time and so she said she would be conservative with us - even her conservative response was that she was 95% sure that we were having a girl.
  • And lastly, this can't happen to a couple more than once right?!?! Right??

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Sacred Parenting

Drew finally comes home tomorrow after being gone all week long! Jed and I are both so ready to have him back...we've really missed him. While he's been gone I've had a stand-in bed partner - a really incredible book called Sacred Parenting by Gary L. Thomas. The book is a must-read for every parent...it is not a how to parent book, but rather talks about how being a parent shapes us spiritually. Without realizing it, I actually kind of tackled the topic a couple nights ago when I blogged on how I'm beginning to understand 'God as parent' due to being a parent myself. Here is an excerpt from the first chapter:
When we realize that having children isn't about us but is rather about God, then the trials and sacrifices of parenting are more easily borne. We see the purpose behind the difficulty, and we remind ourselves, "This isn't about me; it's about him." The ultimate issue is no longer how proud my children make me, but how faithful I've been to discharge the duties God has given me. To pin our hope and joy on the response of any given sinner is a precarious move at best. To pin the same hope and joy on the response of a sinner in his or her toddler years or teen years is to beg for disillusionment and to risk waking up in despair.
The chapter goes on to explain the difference between "child-centered parenting" - acting nice toward your children as long as your children act nicely towards you, and "God-centered parenting" - acting out of reverence for God, regardless of how your children react. I know this is something I will struggle with because I have always struggled with it in all of my other relationships. I'm praying that recognizing and fighting this in parenting will be one way God works to purify me in other areas of my life...

So, I'm in chapter 3 now and each chapter just keeps getting better...and keeps getting more and more into the heart of things that I am already struggling with as a parent or things that I know I will struggle with in the not-so-far-away future. I'm excited to see how God's going to use parenting to refine me.

If you're interested, there's another book by the same author called Sacred Marriage that is absolutely incredible also - his main supposition is "What if God designed marriage more to make us holy than to make us happy?" Imagine what the difficult times would be like if we viewed our marriages from this perspective!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Jedidiah Portrait Gallery

I found that I wanted to post so many pictures of Jed that I needed to put up a blog just for him. So if you want to keep up to date on Jed, check out his portrait gallery - http://www.jedidiahcaperton.blogspot.com/

I just had to share a pic from Jed's first birthday party (1/21/05). Everybody always says he looks good in yellow! He obviously had a blast...and we obviously had a mess! Posted by Hello

New title, bigger focus

I'm changing the title of my blog because well...my life is not just all about me. And so the old title wasn't fitting. "The Story of Us" refers to us...the Capertons...and whomever else we wish to include. (I'm not referring the to movie...although it has got to be one of the best movies ever! If you haven't seen it you MUST!)

Today is Mardi Gras and I'm cooking dinner for my dad and grandparents. We'll be having Jambalya - picky Kristy style. I wish we were having a King Cake, but oh well...Banana Pudding will have to do. That's kind of close to bread pudding, right?

Sometimes Jed's hair even looks like Bozo's! Posted by Hello

Sunday, February 06, 2005

So are all parents this proud of and amazed by their children?!? Jed is only a year old and he already has such an amazing personality! He is such a little character. He makes the funniest faces waiting for you to laugh. He is learning how to let me know that he wants to eat (he claps his hands for 'more', our attempt at sign language - that was as close as we got). He's wanting hugs much more frequently than usual - and I definately don't mind that!

Tonight he really had me laughing...
He's got these funky big plastic sunglasses in with all of his toy stuff. I noticed that he was trying to put them on. I have to wear sunglasses practically all the time so he was very familiar with what they were. He brought them to me so I put them on my face, but nope, he wanted them on his. So I put those HUGE things on his little face. They barely sit on his little round nose, but he loves wearing them. Every time I'd put them on him, he would smile his scrunched up face smile (the 'i know i'm funny smile') and walk around shaking his head until the glasses fell off. Then he'd bring them to me again...so anxious to get them back on that he'd actually lean his face into the glasses, whether I was ready or not.

I know it's true...all parents think their child is exceptional. I know that I'm no different...and I knew that would be the case going into this. And yet, I still think Jedidiah is the smartest, most incredible, most adorable boy in the world. (And I'm sure I wouldn't think this if it wasn't true, right?!)

So now I'm wondering, as one of God's children, does he feel the same way about me? Not that He might think of me as perfect, and not that I think Jed is perfect, because well, when you're home with a child all day long you definately know that's NOT true...And God is the first to know (my husband a close second!) that I am far from perfect. Or far from the 'smartest, most incredible, most adorable' girl in the world. But does He see me thru a 'parent' lense? Aware of the flaws, but awed by my charm and quick wit?! Is His heart melted by my silly attempts to please him? Does He think that His kids are the greatest?

Being a parent has really brought about some new questions and insights about God. I am familiar with what it means for me to be His child, but only now am I seeing what it means for Him to be the Father.